My shorts stories
by Just-to-buy
Summary: Go see my shorts fanfic on games of Mario, humor and parody included Rated T from some sexual references and strong language.  More than one chapter
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, here's a new fic. This is not really a story, it's a reserve and a collection of my gags and parodies of Mario games and Mario. In the parodies, Mario speaks with « a » at the end, like he has always done in English *I think*, so no questions about his language.**

**The joy of the pause**

In SMB, Mario's about to jump on a goomba when the scene ends.

Mario : Mama mia, not again!

Goomba : What's going on?

Mario : It's-a the dumb-a player who still has pressed pause at some point interfere-a.

Goomba : Damn, not again!

Mario : Yes, it's-a really a bad habit he has to press-a pause at the wrong time.

Goomba : And it also work on me, i could touch you if the scene wouldn't stop.

Mario : I would easily avoided anyway.

Goomba*A bit angry* : It's not true.

Mario : Yes is it!

Mario remark suddenly out of the TV where he's in that the player arrives to restart his game.

Mario : Here it is, keep-a laying.

The player starts the game and Mario continue his run after avoiding the goomba.

Goomba : Ah go fuck yourself!

Later, Mario is in another run, he passes through a hole by jumping over. But, in the middle of the hole where Mario was jumping, the player has pressed again on pause.

Mario : YOU FUCKING-A RETARD! WHY DID YOU PRESS-A PAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOLE. Hurry up, just start the game and stop-a making the retarded.

Ten minutes later.

Mario : Mama mia! He does it on purpose, hurry, i'm-a getting cramps and i'll fall.

But too late, Mario fall in the hole, alone, and lose a life.

Mario : Congratulations damn-a player, because of your bullshit, you lost a life for nothing.

Later, on a flat surface with a goomba on it, and 3 bloks of brick one step further with a goomba, Mario's still running once more toward the goomba and…well, you get the idea.

Mario : Ah motherf*cker, again and again-a, ….*Sigh* F*ck-a this, i continue even if it breaks!

Mario fled, continuing the board, leaving the 2 enemies, they begin to discut.

Goomba : Maybe Mario is right, it's bad to stand still during the pause, and in addition, it causes cramps!

Koopa : Hey, do you want to do the same thing with me? There is a small bistro not far from here, and in this hour, there are not many people.

Goomba : Yes, we go.

The goomba and the koopa go away.

**Here, my first short-story, it's short but in the next chapters, it'll have more than one short.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here, two gags for this chapter**

**Yoshi and Birdo? WTF! *Sexual references***

In the game super mario galaxy 2, Mario goes in Yoshi's planet. After having stumbled up against multiple enemies and kameks for the bubble around Yoshi breaks, Mario jumps on the egg and releases Yoshi

Yoshi : Phew, thank you Mario!

Mario*Reflects* : You are a newborn? You look-a so huge.

Yoshi : Nonono, i'm Yoshi, i got trapped by Kamek and you release me.

Mario*Seems not to care * : So?

Yoshi*Smiles* : Well…get on my back and there will be a great adventure together.

Mario*Takes a disgusted look, backwards slowly* : WOH, slowly little guy, i have maybe-a released you, but i have not released your hormones it seems-a to me…No?

Yoshi : *Sigh* That's not what i meant…and stop to waste your time with Peach.

Mario : Whatever, let's-a *Sees something drawing his attention* go?

Mario looks behind Yoshi and saw other eggs with green spots and sees eggs with green spots. But how does is this possible? Usually, it's assumed to have only a single egg here.

Mario : Uh? Is-a this your eggs?

Yoshi*Looks behind* : Uuuuuh, yes, why?

Mario*Tries to change the subject* : No, no, nothing, i just-a thought you were only male sex.

Yoshi : Wait, what?

Mario*Facepalms* : Mamamia, *Take a deep breath* well, do you see? For me, animals, is who saying-a mate, said female laying eggs, and you, that, that don't work, you're a male!

Yoshi : Relax, Mario! These are just serve to throw eggs, that's not eggs who contain childrens. *Small pause* And i know i'm not supposed to use it in this game, but i keep in reserve for future games where i will appear!

Mario*Points Yoshi*: I don't-a believe you!

Yoshi*Don't hear Mario and continues to talk* : And even if i would be to cover the eggs, it's possible that a male lays eggs it's like…..uuuuuhhh…wait… … … huuuuuummm *Long pause* yes, you're right after all.

Mario : So? Do you admit you're a girl?

Yoshi*Begenning to be angry* : NO! I SWEAR! I'm a male! *Hears footsteps* Look, here's my girlfriend!

Birdo comes behind Yoshi, she said nothing and spits an egg with pink dots.

Mario : Uh, Yoshi, i don't want to burst your bubble, but Birdo is a male too, it has been-a shown in the magazine of-a Nintendo.

Yoshi : *Loudly sigh* You gotta be f*cking kidding me!

Mario goes off by pushing a cold and weird stare to Yoshi and Birdo.

Mario : Bye Yoshi, i prefer to continue the level by myself…

Yoshi : Wait, you can't do the level wihtout- … oh f*ck it! *Sighs loudly* 'Gotta be kidding me, i just sleep with an homo!

Birdo : Birdo!

Yoshi*Turns to Birdo* : And you the trans, why are you still with me? Get off, i don't want to see you, and take off you bow tie on your head!

Birdo says nothing and go away with a normal mood, leaving Yoshi currently lamenting on his fate.

**Time for another gag!**

**2 Marios, a mystery…**

In Super Smash Bros melee, Mario beats Master-Hand, his last opponent, he's disappears, credits run and Mario took the opportunity to unwind.

Mario : Phew, Mamma mia, finally finished this fight, about-a time, i began to wear myself out.

After credits, the announcer starts to talk in his micro.

Announcer : Beware! A opponent wants to fight.

Mario : An opponent? *Sigh* Oh no! Not another fight! Still… i wonder who it could be…

Mario is teleported to the roof of the castle of Peach, he starts to be in fighting position and waits for his opponent. A few seconds later, a shadow landing of a teleport and moves slowly toward Mario.

?*Hollow voice*: So, Mario are you ready to fight? *Walks to Mario, and we see his appearance, it's doctor Mario*

Mario : No problem my bo- *Sees Doctor Mario* What the? Is it me in doctor that i see in front of me?

Doctor Mario : Who cares? Me, i'm-a not hallucinating when i look at my foe.

Mario : Just, uh, wait a minute, as to see a doctor…me…to me, did i ate anything that-a didn't pass? Did i have discomfort in the heart?

Doctor Mario*Walk to Mario's heart* : Um, let's-a see! *Put his stethoscope to the heart of Mario and headphones over his ears* Um, you're-a heart is-a fine and healthy, continues to behave much-a like-a that.

Doctor Mario takes off his headphones and stethoscope, then, he puts it around his neck and he's placed in position to fight.

Doctor Mario : Now, fight!

Mario : No, i don't-a fight until i have resolved this-a matter! Is this-a me that i see ahead? Why am i here?

Doctor Mario : Yeah, you're-a me and i'm-a you, we will not-a make a story on it, fight already!

The referee who gave the signal begins to get impatient, the battle should already be started for a long time, he advanced towards the 2 Mario and starts talking.

Arbitrator : What's happens now? Will you two fight or what? The audience begins to be impatient. And if you're don't fight, i will not be payed.

Mario*Crosses his arms* : I refuse to fight until i have not found the bottom of-a this, how can i see a doctor in-a front of me? I mean, i'm a plumber, i'm a doctor too, and i'm-a Mario, the only one!

Doctor Mario*Starts to have nerves shaken* : For the last time, that's how the game was done, and I DON'T-A CARE about the appearance of-a my opponent.

Mario : Me, i don't doesn't care about it, and to be ignorant as well, it must be a mask that you wear.

Doctor Mario : I don't-a wear a mask, i'm-a Mario in a doctor, i have the same qualities as you!

Mario : I refuse to believe you, once-a the mask will be removed, we can fight, then remove it!

Doctor Mario goes back a few inches, the referee gets on his watch to indicate the passage of time.

Doctor Mario : I will not remove it for the simple reason that i don't wear a mask!

Mario*Tape his foot on the ground in sign of impatience* : You refuse to remove it? Very well, i'll do it myself.

Referee : Finally, a fight!

Mario goes to Doctor Mario and puts his two hands on his face, he gently pulls the face off while Doctor Mario struggles, giving punches to Mario who avoiding while he pulls. Then, the doctor grabs Mario's shoulders and tries to pushing.

Mario*Forces as an ox* : You're going to remove it..gnnn!

Doctor Mario*Forces too* : Let me go!

Mario*Forces* : Never!

Pulling on the cheek of Doctor Mario, Mario has a hard time removing it already feel the bones, then, he understands that…

Mario*Stops pulling and a little afraid* : Wha- tha- that's-a not a mask?

Doctor Mario : That's what i try to tell you!

Mario*Starts to faint* : Oh god, i don't feel too good.

Mario faints on the ground, on the screen, displayed on the screen : Doctor Mario wins.

Doctor Mario : Oooookaaaayy!

Some years later, in MK7, eight concurrents are on the starting line, Mario is here.

Mario : Let's a go!

Before starting the race, Marios looks the competitors to the left of him, suddenly, he saw a person like him, but in metal, Metal Mario. He turns to Mario.

Metal Mario*Raises his right hand* : Hi!

Mario : Mama mia! Not again!


End file.
